hong kong max

i come home yesterday, to discover my new landlady has installed a new door on the flat. not just a door, but a big security door, which would normally make mr. security happy. but this is a door to which i have no key!! shit, what am i going to do?!! i call the landlady, of course…no answer, just an incessant recording in chinese, chinese and english…your wish is not granted…the number you are calling is not available…

and i thought, a mobile phone makes one, always reachable…that was then, long ago when i thought that…now i believe, that the mobile phone is actually a thing, which brings us farther apart as people…but that is matter for another rant…

so i am struggling with the new door, thinking like a criminal if i ever was one, trying to get the damn thing open…no luck…and the neighbor lady comes out, her little chow dogs barking at me like iam a criminal trying to break in…and she starts to laugh, like iam nuts

“it’s not FUNNY!” i tel her, but i have to laugh myself, at the absurdity of the situation…she invites me in, but i didnt want to put her out, what am i gonna do, spend the night with the sixty-year-old woman and her cat nd her chow dog?? no, and anyway, i thought it is best, to cal on the neighbor lady when there is realy an emergency…here i am just locked out…

so i call my friend silvia, who helped me sort the flat, who met with the landlady before i arrived, maybe she knows where the old bat lives…”silvia!! help!!” and of course, silvia says she doesnt know where the landlady lives, but she wil cal her…but silvia, if i cant reach her, how will you?…silence…then silvia calls back…of course, no answer by the landlady…

now is the time to cal on the neighbor lady and her chow dog…can i please use the toilet…? she was very pleasant, still smirking a bit…of course, and for that, i should take her a flower, once…

so i folow silvia’s orders, grab the bus, then the train, then another train, and an hour later i am in yeun long, and silvia is on the phone, leading me around to meet her…i dont know to feel ike a child, or an old man…we find the way to her car, and to her man, who drives us all home…safe and sound…silvia cooks up some noodles, we rap a bit, i get a japanese hotel toothbrush, a canon towel, a shower, and crash out…but not before a bit of laughter and some ranting about betty, my landlady and the absurdity of it all…

so i was so glad, to know someone here, someone i can trust, who will not laugh too hard at my expense, at the absurdity of it all, who will cook me up some nodles and eggs, and put me to sleep on a futon, in a village far away…silvia, you are a lifesaver!

six in the morning and i awake, as the rain comes down in sheets, a regular occurance these days in hong kong, it is after al, taifun season…but it is just rain, cleansing, hardcore tropical rain, and after, i can go back to sleep, safe…sound…

of course, the moral of the story is, always make friends years in advance, before going out to china…no, actualy, the solution was very simple, and the door, in the end, wasnt locked, only, there is a special invisible latch, which with one push, which would have let me in, last night…but of course the longnose didnt know that. now he does, and i trust it will never happen again…at lleast with that door

the moral of the story, then? perhaps, just leave the mobile phone on, so the foriegn guy can call you , and ask about the new door, and the secret latch.

the consolation for me? well, that is knowing that silvia and her man are close by, and just glad i didnt call up at one in the morning…and i get 100 hk dolars rebate on my rent, for my transport costs…the busses, the trains, and the absurdity of it all

glad to know, i am not totaly alone out here - realy, thanks guys!